Landing Imperfect
Empowering people to break free from the chains of self-doubt and limiting beliefs by embracing our imperfections. Hope you enjoy!!
Landing Imperfect
Small Steps to Big Changes: Embracing Behavioral Transformation
On this episode of Landing Imperfect, host Jen Lander dives into the complex journey of making lasting behavioral changes. She explores why shifting habits can feel overwhelmingly difficult and the subconscious barriers that often hold us back. Jen explains how our brains are wired for efficiency, making familiar routines, even if unhealthy, hard to break free from. With personal anecdotes, she discusses the fear of the unknown and shares her own hurdles in launching a successful podcast. The episode is rich with practical strategies, from setting clear goals and celebrating small victories to embracing mindfulness and discipline as tools for change. Jen offers encouragement and concrete steps for listeners striving to rewire their minds, create new neural pathways, and ultimately transform their lives into what they truly want them to be. This episode is about embracing progress, overcoming fear, and never giving up on the journey toward becoming the best version of ourselves.
00:00 Overcoming Barriers to Behavioral Change
04:56 Embracing Change: Overcoming Familiarity
07:26 Breaking Comfort, Embracing Change
11:32 "Goal Setting for Healthy Living"
13:34 "Discipline Over Motivation: Key to Success"
17:17 "Lucky Deals: Thrilling Live Shopping"
Follow Jamie Gooch:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathwork.ecc/
Follow Lucky Dealz on Whatnot App: https://www.whatnot.com/live/e4f2d074-6e45-40b5-8dc1-b4ebd2889315?referringSource=listings_serp&app=web&sharing_channel=copyLink&invitedBy=jenlan14593&sender_id=16464426
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.lander/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.butram/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jenniferlander9
Feeling stressed, overwhelmed. Ready to finally release. What's holding you back then. You need to experience the transformative power of somatic breath. Work with Jamie Gooch. Jamie, isn't just a breathwork coach. She's a guide, a facilitator of deep healing and a true master of connecting you to your body's core sense of balance. Imagine releasing years of tension, finding profound, inner peace, and unlocking a new found sense of clarity and wellbeing. Breath work with Jamie can help you reduce your stress and anxiety release, emotional blocks, improve, sleep, and focus, deepen your self-awareness and so much more. I've personally experienced Jamie's incredible sessions and I've always left feeling lighter and more centered. She creates a safe, supportive space where you can truly let go. Whether you're local or live across the country. Jamie makes breathwork assessable. She offers both deeply immersive in-person sessions and convenient, transformative virtual sessions. So you can experience the benefits from anywhere. Don't let stress intention control your life any longer. Take control of your wellbeing with Jamie she's knowledgeable, compassionate, and ready to guide you on your journey to a calmer, more empowered. You. Jamie's contact info is linked in the show notes so that you can book your session today. She rocks and you're absolutely gonna love her. All right, everyone. Welcome. Welcome. I'm so grateful that you're listening in today. We're going to talk a little bit about how to make lasting behavioral changes and what some of the barriers are that are preventing us from making those desired changes. So, if we're being real, then we're just going to name that change in behaviors and habits are really hard. We all have habits and patterns that we know aren't serving us. But breaking free from them sometimes feels impossible. So we know we should move our bodies more, establish a healthy relationship with food in our bodies, be more patient, less reactive, kinder, and more present. Right. But the gap between knowing and doing can feel really overwhelming. So why has changed so difficult? Our brains are wired for efficiency. They crave predictability and routine. So established habits, even the unhealthy ones, they require less cognitive energy. So it's like a well-worn path in the forest. It's easy to follow because it's familiar. The path has already been walked down time and time again, and it's removed anything. That's blocking its path. So it's smooth to walk on Your brain wants to conserve that energy. So it puts everything it can on autopilot habits essentially are pre-programmed responses, neural pathways that have been strengthened through repetition. So when we try to introduce a new behavior, we're essentially asking our brains to build a new road and that takes time. It takes effort. And there's a lot of resistance that we're going to get. One of our biggest barriers is the subconscious mind. So it's operating beneath our conscious awareness. It's where our beliefs values and ingrained patterns live. It loves the status quo. So it's comfortable with the familiar, even if the familiar is detrimental. Let's use relationships for an example. So we can get into a pattern of picking the same partner over and over again. So different person, but same situation. So it feels like the same person, right? We may be attracting people who are, let's say controlling. So this can be tricky because at first it can look like the two of you were always together and you think, oh my goodness, they just, they can't get enough of me. They are so obsessed with me. They just love me so much. This can feel really good for someone who struggles with feelings of unworthiness. Then over time, this behavior turns into when you guys aren't together, then they want to know everywhere you are. And they're calling 10, 15 times a day asking you questions that make you end up feeling defensive or making you feel bad. And then you start trying to help calm the situation. Let's say eventually this relationship ends not so great. Number four, you know, it you're right back into the same scenario with a new partner. So if the drive for attracting partners like this is coming from a place of unworthiness that is within your subconscious mind, until this belief is brought to light and addressed, the pattern will continue to repeat itself because it's familiar. It is driven by core beliefs that are forming our behaviors. Another major hurdle that some of us are jumping over is fear. Fear of the unknown fear of failure. Fear of discomfort. We could be afraid of stepping outside of our comfort zones and facing the uncertainty that comes along with change. We clean to familiar. So even if it's painful, We will clean to it because it feels safe. This one is me. I am currently jumping over this hurdle and I'll let you guys and on how this is showing up in my life. So this is vulnerable to share, but because I believe that lasting change does require some action to overcome. I'm going to dig deep here for some courage and I'm going to share. Now a year and a half ago, I had a goal to start a very successful podcast. There was so much excitement when I first started this podcast. The goals that I had were, or still have, are reaching thousands of people and helping them reach their personal mindset goals, and overcome mental health challenges. It also includes having sponsors for the podcast so that I can bring in money to help pay and sustain the show. And I know that I'm aware of some of these changes that I need to make to make this happen. I need let's say so. I need to be. Consistent. I need to network. I need to have guests on the podcast. I also need to be a guest on podcast. I need to promote and talk about my podcast so that the word gets out there and I need to be able to reach out to companies for sponsorships. Well, somewhere down the line, I got stuck in the weeds of being busy. So I was putting episodes together, which take a fair amount of time to put these together. If they're quality episodes. And I was calling this busy and just being consistent. So I started becoming discouraged and telling myself, I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep this up without gaining some momentum. So after about a year, I became aware of what was going on here. I was filling up my schedule to become so busy that I wasn't doing the things that I needed to do to move the needle. I wasn't asking other people to be on their podcast. I wasn't reaching out to companies for sponsorships. I wasn't trying to make connections for networking with other people. And I was just convincing myself for some time that it was because I was so busy and I had low energy. So anytime I have moved the needle and made any progress, I was vibing on a much higher frequency, more energy, a more positive attitude. But the fear of actually being seen, caused me to create all this busy-ness so that I couldn't find the time to do the things that I really needed to do. The fear that I held comes from a core belief of not being good enough. So I was hiding behind all these tasks that took me nowhere, or was just keeping me in my comfort zone. And now that I've called myself out. I'm going to need to take some steps to make some changes here. I need to build up some courage to reach out to people. And I need to show up in a bigger way than I've been showing up. So fear, isn't just going to go away. We need to build up some courage to do the work in the presence of fear. Then there's a lack of clarity. So we often have vague goals. Like I want to be healthier. But without clear specific plans, we're setting ourselves up for failure. So we need to define what healthier means. Break it down into actionable steps and then create a roadmap for our success. This can be challenging if you have ADHD and you struggle with executive function. So decision-making planning, organizing. Leaning into tools that can help you address these issues can help you gain some clarity and start putting a plan together to help you reach your goals. And let's not forget external influences. So the people that we surround ourselves with the environments that we live in, the information that we're consuming. All of these factors can either support or sabotage our efforts. If we're, let's say trying to quit smoking, but you have friends who are consistently lightened up. You're facing an uphill battle. Behavioral changes are already a battle, but adding in these types of influences really do make this, that uphill battle as a battling, just isn't hard enough, right? To do it on flat ground flat ground. Let's just throw a hill in there and we're going to raise the risk of staying stuck in old habits. No, thank you. And I'm definitely not suggesting that you need to get all new friends because you want to make these changes in your life. Instead, what can be helpful is putting some physical distance between you and these friends and family members temporarily. So you can chat on the phone and you can stay connected and meet up occasionally, but trying to surround yourself with non-smokers while you're vulnerable to reverting back to old habits is wise and it can be very supportive. Um, our brains are incredibly adaptable neuroplasticity. It allows our brains to change and to reorganize themselves all throughout our lives. So when we repeatedly engage in a new behavior, we are rewiring our brains and we're creating new neural connections. Every thought, every action it strengthens or weakens the connection between neurons. So this is where repetition comes in. The more that we repeat. The behavior, the stronger the neural pathway becomes making it easier and more automatic. So our autonomic nervous systems, a and S play a role here. Our ans control, our involuntary bodily functions. Including our stress response. So when we're under stress, the sympathetic nervous system that fight or flight response kicks in. This can lead to reactive behaviors, impulsive decisions, and those emotional outburst. And this response can show up when we're trying to make changes in our behavior. So we can learn to regulate our ans our autonomic nervous system through practices like mindfulness, deep breathing and meditation. These practices activate the parasympathetic nervous system that rest or digest response. Which is helping us to feel relaxed and to feel calm. So when we're consistently practicing these techniques, we're training our autonomic nervous system to respond differently to stress, which can help us to feel more in control and to have more intentional behaviors. Which is a good thing, right? So let's talk about some steps that we can take to actually make changes. First, you want to get clear on the vision? What do you want to change and be specific? So instead of saying, I want to be healthier, say. I want to exercise for 30 minutes, three times a week, do something that you enjoy for exercise. Maybe it's swimming, playing basketball with friends, walking outside, lifting, whatever feels good. So specific. I want to exercise for 30 minutes, three times a week, and I want to have a healthy relationship with food by including proteins, fats carbs and two meals during the day. And having snacks that are delicious and feel my body. And then we want to write our goals down. So putting goals into writing this makes them more tangible and increases our commitment to them. And imagine yourself already achieving your goals. So seeing yourself exercise, eating in a way that brings joy and fuels your brain and body and responding to stress more calmly. Visualizing your goals will help you to strengthen the neural pathways that are associated with whatever behavior change that you're trying to make. And then create some positive affirmations because this will reinforce the behavior as well. I say things like I am strong and capable of achieving my goals. Well, heck yes you are. And then repeat the statement daily, especially in the morning and before bed. And this is also important. Do not try to change everything at once. Start. With one small manageable step. So focus on consistency over intensity. And this is a hard one for me because I, I tried to go. Very hard. So I need to just slow down, take it one small step at a time. Consistency is your friend focus on that. So I'm definitely giving you several steps here, but maybe you just want to start with one or two of these steps this week, and then you can start to stack these. So maybe in a week or two, you're going to add another step towards reaching your goals. And then repetition, repetition, repetition. This is key. So repeat your new behavior daily, even when you don't feel like it. Every repetition strengthens neural pathways. So you are absolutely going to wake up. I promise you this. You are going to wake up one day and feel very unmotivated to repeat your new behavior. This is normal, and this is when you need to rely on discipline, not motivation. So you don't have to feel motivated to do the thing that needs to get done. You can do it anyways, because you're going to rely on discipline, not motivation during those days. Acknowledging and celebrating our achievements, even the small ones. So this will reinforce the behavior as well, and it can help keep you motivated most days, not all like we were saying, but most days. And then find a supportive community. So whether that's a friend, a coach, a family member, a support group, having a support system can really push you through the unmotivated days. It's calling them and talking to them when you're having a tough time weather. You know, you're trying to just let them know that you need some advice or maybe you just need to let them know. I, I really just want to kind of vent or talk to you. I just need you to listen. Because feeling alone during your journey can feel very isolating. So being able to reach out to your support, people can be extremely effective and it can feel really good to have a habit team behind you. We want to make sure that we're minimizing our exposure to the triggers that lead us to old habits as well. So we want to become aware of our thoughts, our emotions, and our triggers. This will give you more control over your reactions. And we do this through mindfulness practices. So it's regulating our nervous systems. On the same note, we want to be able to manage our stress levels. So doing yoga, exercising, meditating, and deep breathing exercises, deep breathing exercises are my jam. I will go down swinging with like, yes, yes, yes. To breathing exercises. It has been the most helpful exercises to help reduce my stress levels. And I try to do this every day. Sometimes I miss a day and that's okay if you do. Cause life happens. But I try to do this every day. And when I was going through a very stressful time in my life recently, these exercises were non-negotiable. I was doing these one, two, sometimes three times a day. And it really did help to regulate my stress levels. So change. It just takes time. Your brain is working really hard to make changes, and this is going deep down into cellular level. So don't get discouraged. If the change feels like it's taking much longer than we expected. This is when acknowledging the progress that you've already made comes in handy. If you're starting to feel frustrated. So don't let yourself forget about the progress that you've made. Our subconscious mind learns through repetition. The more we repeat a behavior, the more ingrained it becomes, you got into the habit through repetition and it is through repetition that you're going to get out of the old habit and into the new one. With that consistent repetition, we can really create new neural pathways and new patterns of behavior. And that my friend is pretty dang cool. So changing behavior, like we said, it's definitely not easy. It requires your commitment, your patience, and self-compassion. But it is very possible. So we have the power to rewire our brains, to create new habits and to transform our lives into what we want them to be. So you are definitely not defined by your old patterns. You can choose a different path. So hold on tight, embrace the journey, celebrate the progress and never give up on yourself. I so appreciate you. I'm so glad that you're a part of this community and until next time. I keep landing strong and keep striving to become the best version of yourself. 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So be sure to download the whatnot app search for and follow lucky deals and set reminders for their upcoming shows. Get ready for a fun and rewarding shopping, adventure and experience the excitement of live shopping. With lucky deals on whatnot. The link to the whatnot app will be in the show notes. Now, go get those deals Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of landing and perfect. I truly appreciate you being a part of this community and sharing this journey with me. And remember, this podcast is a personal project. It's unrelated to the full-time work I do for the company. I help treat those with eating disorders. While I aim to provide professional and educational inspirational content. It's important to understand that the podcast is not a substitute for professional treatment. So if you or someone that you know is struggling with any issues I've discussed, please consider seeking the help of a qualified healthcare professional.