From Setbacks to Success: Building Resilience with ADHD

Welcome back to another episode of Landing Imperfect, where we dive deep into life's challenges and triumphs. Let's explore the relationship between dopamine, resilience, setbacks, and self-compassion. Tune in as we talk about insights and actionable strategies, including mindfulness, meditation, and the power of self-compassion, to navigate these challenges effectively. Plus, I am inviting you to join a week-long challenge designed to kickstart your mornings without the influence of screens, fostering a more mindful and motivated start to your day. Let's embark on this journey together towards finding balance and building a supportive environment for growth.

00:00 ADHD Stress: Managing Allostatic Load

04:00 Overcoming Parental Self-Doubt

06:20 Mindful Awareness and Support Systems

11:57 Mindful Morning Challenge

13:02 Catch Up Next Week

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Transcript

0:00

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So be sure to download the whatnot app search for and follow lucky deals and set reminders for their upcoming shows. Get ready for a fun and rewarding shopping, adventure and experience the excitement of live shopping. With lucky deals on whatnot. The link to the whatnot app will be in the show notes. Now, go get those deals. Hey guys, welcome back to landing in. Perfect. If you are new here. Welcome. If you're back then, I'm so grateful to have you here. Once again. Um, today I want to talk to you guys about ADHD, specifically dopamine resilience and setbacks. This is something that's been more personal to me recently. I've had some pretty stressful situations where, which ended up creating some setbacks in my life, specifically in. Posting content on social media and I'm posting podcast episodes. I've been a little bit, um, on the slacking side with that. So. I just wanted to kind of touch base with you guys on this, because I think that it could be helpful and it's things that have been helpful for me. And I wanted to talk a little bit about dopamine first. So dopamine isn't, it's a neurotransmitter that's in our brain that isn't just about pleasure. It's a neurotransmitter, that's playing a role in motivation reward and learning. So for those of us who have ADHD, the dopamine pathways are often less efficient. So you can think of it as a dimmer switch. That's a little faulty. So sometimes it's hard to get that bright light of motivation, especially for tasks that don't provide immediate gratification. this is why we often gravitate towards high dopamine activities. So those bursts of stimulation feel good and they temporarily boost our focus. So, of course we're wanting to seek out those things, but relying solely. On these activities can create a cycle of chasing the next dopamine hit, which is leading us to burnout and difficulty focusing on long-term goals that we have. So. Like I said recently I have had a setback and setbacks are inevitable. We're all going to experience them. They're just a part of life. For ADHD people, they can feel really devastating. So there's a concept called alpha static load. And this does come into play with people who have ADHD specifically. Um, well, not specifically other people too, but definitely people who have ADHD. So Alice static load is just that buildup of the wear and tear on the body and the brain due to that chronic stress. So for people who do have ADHD, that constant effort that's required to manage our symptoms can contribute to a higher alostatic load. So this means that even minor setbacks can push us over the edge and it's leading to this heightened, emotional reactivity, and it's creating a lot of difficulty for us to bounce back from setbacks. So it's important that we build some resilience in the face of these challenges. So we do need to understand that resilience is it's not about being invincible. It's just about creating those tools and having strategies to be able to navigate those challenges. And one of the most powerful tools that we have is self-compassion. And that's really hard for a lot of people to have that self-compassion for themselves. We're really great at being compassionate to other people, but giving that same kind of respect and love for ourselves can be very challenging. And that holds true for people who have ADHD, because we're incredibly hard on ourselves. So we have a tendency to ruminate on our mistakes and just engage in negative. Self-talk. But this is only exacerbating the problem. Our brains are really good at trying to find evidence for the things that we think. So if we're constantly thinking that. Oh, I really suck at this or I'm such a failure. I didn't do well in this. Like, I'm just a terrible person, blah, blah, blah, whatever those ruminating thoughts that you can have are your brains going to start looking at those things, even if it's not true. So moms are very good at, um, Kind of being very hard on themselves and feeling like a failure, they just have a lot of things on their plate. So let's say, for example, you have this tradition of doing a certain. Kind of thing to celebrate for your child's birthday and it wasn't perfectly executed this time. And then you're feeling like you're the worst mom in the whole world, you know? And the evidence is that yes, one thing is off and you're just absolutely the worst mother that ever walked the face of this planet. Like it's, it's wild, but your brain is putting those pieces together on like, oh, you weren't perfect there. So you must not be the best mom there is. Or you could definitely be a better mom, It's just going to exacerbate the problem of her ruminating on I'm a bad mom, I'm a bad mom, or, you know, it's creating a lot of these problems, so just acknowledging that you are doing your best and that making mistakes is a natural part of life and it is a learning experience, but not even that, like, it's just, sometimes we are. I mean, we're just not perfect. Right? Like we are going to make mistakes and it doesn't mean that we're a bad mom or a bad person, you know, it just means that life happens sometimes. So trying to be compassionate and having some self-acceptance that I'm not perfect. And. I am gonna, make those mistakes. So. It's also important that we're building some emotional regulation. Tools and skills too. So this is where mindfulness and meditation can be incredibly helpful. If you haven't tried it, I would definitely suggest trying it. YouTube has awesome meditations. You can Google mindfulness activities a lot will pop up in that area. Something that's been really helpful for me is breath work. I just watched this guy called. Breathe with Sandy on YouTube. And there's so many on there. And then I also have this, girl, Jamie. I forget what her. Instagram name is I think it's breath. Or breathe with Jamie. I don't know what it is, but I'll link it in there, but she is awesome. So I try to sign up for some of her classes too. So I would recommend meditating. Journaling could be also very helpful. Mindfulness activities and some breath work too. So these practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and your emotions, which is not always easy, but it's just allowing us to be able to respond to them in a more balanced and controlled way. So when you feel overwhelmed by those setbacks, just take a moment and pause and take a couple deep breaths and just notice some of those physical sensations in your body and acknowledge the emotions that are arising. So this is just a simple act of awareness that can help you regain that sense of control and just prevent you from spiraling into those negative thought patterns, what's also very important and very helpful is just building a supportive environment. So surrounding yourself with people who do understand and accept you for who you are. Hopefully it's family and friends. Maybe a coach or a therapist, or just seeking out communities who have, other people who have ADHD. There's a lot of communities on Facebook, being here with me and with us. I think that's wonderful too. Because I'll support the heck out of you. You know, like I totally get what it's like, and it's, it's a struggle, sometimes. So we all have to kind of stick together and be there for each other. So if you have a tendency to procrastinate, that is me by far. I have definitely had a tendency to do that. It's still something that I do struggle with and I have to be very mindful and intentional about. But it's creating a system of accountability, which has been very helpful for me. So it's working with an accountability partner or even using time tracking apps that can be really helpful, but the most helpful for me has just. To be it's for me to be able to check in with someone and just have someone hold me accountable. When it comes to procrastinating. And then. I am. Very big on trying to encourage this because I need this in my life to just this reminder of celebrating your successes. Even if they're small. So just it's reinforcing the positive behaviors and it's building momentum when we take the time to acknowledge and to celebrate. Even the small wins. Um, and we're. I don't, I don't know if I should say very good, but we are better at celebrating bigger wins things that feel. You know, like, oh, this is we're celebrating versus like the smaller wins. So I want to swing back to talking about dopamine. So understanding how to manage dopamine levels as crucial for maintaining focus and motivation. Trying to avoid relying solely on those high dopamine activities that provide only short-term gratification. So instead. Try focusing on the activities that do promote sustained dopamine release. So those are things like exercising. Having a balanced meal, um, and journaling stepping outside and the sunlight sunlight is very good at boosting our dopamine levels as well. Something, this is a challenge that I do want us to do this week, and I hope that you'll join me on that. I'm definitely going to do it because I've been sliding back into this over the last week, and I can tell a difference and how I'm feeling. I have been immediately grabbing my phone and scrolling on social media, first thing in the morning time. So that is something I'm very aware of. That is not helpful in here. I am like sliding back into it. So this week, just for these next seven days, I would love for us to just have that challenge of doing things for an hour before grabbing our phones in the morning time. So not checking emails. For work or anything else not going on social media, but just that first hour. Either exercising, journaling, stepping outside. If the weather's nice, getting some sunlight. Doing something for that hour before grabbing your phone. So I'm excited about that. Um, I don't think it's going to be that easy, but I'm definitely going to try it and it'll be more helpful to me if you guys participate in that too, and we can hold each other accountable. So if it's just shooting me a message on Instagram or Facebook or wherever, letting me know how it's going, I would love to kind of talk back and forth so we can hold each other accountable on that. So anyways, back to dopamine. Exercise really is a fantastic way to boost open mean levels. So I would even it's even a short walk outside, so you don't have to do any crazy lifting or cardio or anything like that. Just take a nice brisk walk outside, enjoy the scenery, the weather. And I think that it's a good challenge to do these things in the morning time, too. I think trying to be as mindful as we can in the early morning hours. can only help our productivity. So if we're wasting a lot of our morning hours on activities that are depleting, our mental energy and social media absolutely is one of those ones for me. Then we are just setting ourselves up for failure during the day. so just trying to prioritize activities that are going to set us up for success. I want us to remember that it really is a journey. It's not a destination. So there will be times when you feel like you're taking two steps forward and one step back. That is okay. That happens to all of us. That is a part of the game. Like we're all going to experience that. So please, don't be hard on yourself. Just know that that is going to happen and just keep moving forward, just learning and growing from those little setbacks, little or big, whatever it is, and just keep pushing forward. And then don't forget to ask for help too. It's so important, you know, if you're really struggling to kind of manage some of these things or you're feeling kind of how I was back in the fall, where I had so much stress and managing our stress is very important, So I was not managing mine very well, and I ended up falling into burnout, which took me just a lot longer to recover from than I would have liked. So I wish I would have kind of reached out for some help a lot sooner than what I had. but like I said, setbacks. Building that resilience and just not being hard on myself about it. It was a learning experience for me. Okay. So this week, We are all going to. Well, those of us who want to, and I hope we all do to participate in the challenge of seven days. For the first hour, the next seven days, we're going to wake up and we're going to do something that is mindful, like exercising or journaling, stepping outside, um, getting some sunlight and just having a balanced breakfast. Doing some of those things before grabbing our phones, checking our emails, all of those things and check in with me because I would love to hear, how it's going for you. All right. Well, it's been, it's been wonderful as always, and I'll see you next week. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of landing and perfect. I truly appreciate you being a part of this community and sharing this journey with me. And remember, this podcast is a personal project. It's unrelated to the full-time work I do for the company. I help treat those with eating disorders. While I aim to provide professional and educational inspirational content. It's important to understand that the podcast is not a substitute for professional treatment. So if you or someone that you know is struggling with any issues I've discussed, please consider seeking the help of a qualified healthcare professional.