ADHD emotional dysregulation

In todays episode, we discuss emotional dysregulation related to ADHD. Theories behind this and a few ways to manage the intense emotions that sometimes accompany ADHD.

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Transcript

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I was experiencing these really intense emotional outbursts where I would be on the floor, like screaming and just so upset. And I was like, what is wrong with me? Like this. My reaction was not proportionate to the, what was actually happening. Hey guys, so welcome back to another episode of Landing Imperfect. I, so today we're going to talk about emotional dysregulation and ADHD, but before we get started on that, I have to tell you these episodes are probably going to be pretty short throughout June, like the rest of this month and throughout June. And that is because, well first of all they're already short, but they're going to be even shorter probably. It just depends on how well I'm going to be rifting on this without needing to, uh, edit anything. Because my Macbook is not working anymore and I had to send it in for repairs. And they're like, it's going to be two weeks before you get it back. And I do all my editing, I do all the uploads for the episodes, and I'm like, this is unacceptable, we cannot be doing this. So I'm a little disappointed about that, and then, so I'm supposed to be getting it back in two weeks, but that butts right up my ass. To my trip to Europe and then to Myrtle Beach. So I don't even know if I'm gonna have it back before I leave. Anyways, so my backup plan is not ideal, but we're just making it work. Okay, we're just gonna do our best over here. So It's a good topic right now to be talking about emotional dysregulation and ADHD. If you don't know, if you haven't heard previous episodes, I have ADHD. I'm also a psych nurse practitioner. So I treat ADHD as well. Um, so this is a topic that we don't really talk much about. Um, a lot of people don't realize that when people are having intense emotional dysregulation, emotional outbursts, it can be related to ADHD. Now, now I'm not saying that if that's something that's happening with you, absolutely have ADHD, but it is a part of ADHD for, for a lot of people. And that can feel like our emotions are this runaway train. So we're speeding from happy to hangry in a heartbeat. And before I was treated with ADHD, I was someone who at least once a month, I was experiencing these really intense emotional outbursts where I would be on the floor, like screaming and just so upset. And I was like, what is wrong with me? Like this. My reaction was not proportionate to the, what was actually happening. And I would just be so hard on myself, of course, afterwards. And I would hit a wall after, cause it's this huge emotional release that's happening, which is exhausting for a lot of people. So then I would feel like, what the heck is wrong with me? Something is seriously wrong with me. And then I treated my ADHD and voila, like I was not experiencing those. emotional ups and downs like I was before. So it is definitely worth looking into having the support, getting treated, um, because it, it can be very, very distressing to go through something like that. So there's a few reasons why we can experience this emotional rollercoaster. So imagine your brain as the symphony orchestra. In a typical brain, the conductor keeps everything in perfect harmony. But with ADHD, the conductor might be a bit enthusiastic. So this can lead to emotions playing way louder than intended, making us feel like things, making us feel things more intensely. And then there's another theory. So the theory is that the filter is broken. So our brains naturally filter out some information, keeping us calm. Think of it like spam filter for emotions. But with ADHD, this filter might be malfunctioning, letting through a flood of these overwhelming emotions. So don't freak out if this is happening to you. We can learn, and I am proof of this, we can learn ways to ride out that emotional wave. So one thing that you can do is identify your triggers. What situations are Are what situations or experiences typically set you off? So maybe it's a deadline or a traffic jam. I know there's a lot of people that get triggered by other drivers on the road. So maybe that's you, or it's just sensory overload. So you're overstimulated in crowds. So for example, if you're someone who has an event to go to, like I did last weekend, I was at this event and as amazing as it was, just the noise and the energy and the amount of conversations that I was having really felt like sensory overload to me. So what you can do in situations like that is take breaks throughout the day. So this may be. You know, you're during your lunch break or, a little 10 minute break that you have during the event, maybe you're walking to the bathroom or you're stepping outside just to get fresh air, um, something that someone told me and it was actually, it was Jen Gottlieb and I feel like I talk about her all the time, but it was her event that we were at and. I had this conversation with her about being an introvert, because that's one thing, like being introverted and being around a lot of people can be intimidating sometimes. But then I also have ADHD, so it can, I can experience a sensory overload as well. But something that she said that I felt like was really helpful is going into it, into experiencing it. Um, experiences like that. And looking at it like you're at the Super Bowl, like you're an athlete. So what do you do? Like you really push through some of those things, but you have to have that awareness of what you can tolerate. So maybe it's some of the things I said before, like it's stepping outside, getting some fresh air. Getting away from people for a couple minutes to kind of recharge and regroup your battery or recharge your battery And then it's coming back to the event But you can also look at it like there's going to be time to rest at the end of the day or after the event After the weekend is is over. So just looking at it like okay If I can get through this, I know that there is relief coming and preparing ahead for that, too. So, having something at the end of the event, like this is what I'm going to do after, so maybe it's taking a warm bath, a walk in nature, just getting in nature, surrounding yourself with like the outdoors, whatever, whatever the case is, you know, but it's just having a plan on what you think could be helpful or what you would like to do after the event is over to decompress a little bit. And then mindfulness. Mindfulness can be your new BFF. I'm telling you. So techniques like meditation or deep breathing that can help you become aware of your emotions before they take over. So imagine you're watching a movie of your emotions and you can see them rising, but you don't have to become part of the action. So when we talk about meditation, I know there's a lot of people who are like, I suck at meditation. I'm no good at meditation. And I used to think like that too. I'm like, this is, this is not easy. Like I'm doing terrible because my mind is wandering. My thoughts are going all over the place. But the whole point of meditation is to be in the present moment, right? So you want to If you start to notice that your mind is wandering during the meditation, that's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's the awareness that you recognize that your thoughts are on a different topic or they're not focused on the meditation. That is the big deal. Like, you are Still a part of the meditation because you're like, okay, i'm aware that this is happening I'm in the present moment. So you're coming back to the meditation. So that's a good thing. So don't beat yourself up over that Um, and then talk it out. So that's another thing that you could do So find a trusted friend or maybe it's a therapist or a family member that you can just chat when your emotions are running high So talking it through can help you process and understand your feelings Just like letting out steam from a pressure cooker before it explodes So that's the same idea. It's, it's talking through if you know, okay, I'm starting to get a little heated. My go to person is, um, you know, I have, I have, I have my sister in law, so she is a good person that I reach out to when I feel like I'm gonna explode. Like, she helps calm me down a little bit, so I appreciate you. And if you're listening to this, I love you girl. You you're my girl. You helped me out So if you I hope you guys have something like that, and then I have a quick exercise that you can try to just to explore your triggers. So I want you to, if you're, obviously, if you're not driving, so if you're in a place where you can grab a piece of paper or a piece of paper and a pen and if you, are driving, then come back to this exercise too. So what I want you to do is draw a large circle and divide the circle into sections and write down situations that typically trigger your emotions. Now, brainstorm coping mechanisms for each trigger. For example, if deadlines stress you out, write breakdown project into smaller tasks in that section. And why I recommend you writing these things down, especially for someone who has ADHD, is because our thoughts can get so jumbled in our brains. So we can have all these amazing ideas, and often we do, but they kind of get lost in this circle in our brain. So when you put it down on paper, and you think about this plan on how you're going to execute whatever's triggering you, what the plan is, how you're going to cope with it. When you see it on paper that can have huge benefits and it can really make a difference so that you're getting it from your brain, which can be a cluttered mess sometimes, onto paper and it brings clarity into what you're doing. So I hope those things help. I don't know if I'm going to edit this at all because that might be Kind of difficult, so I hope that this is all good for you guys, and I will see you next week. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful week. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of landing imperfect. I truly appreciate you being a part of this community and sharing this journey with me. If you do want to connect further, then don't hesitate to follow me on Instagram at Jen dot Lander. I would love to hear your thoughts, any questions or any stories that you want to share. So, DME there, I also have a website. It's a landing and perfect website where I share a blog post about my podcast, and then you can join my email list. I have a PDF that provides anxiety and stress management tools that you can. And use as well when you join my email list. So check it out. My website will be linked in my show notes. So don't hesitate to reach