ADHD and the Struggle with Negative Self-Talk: Strategies to Cope

In this episode we take a look into the complex world of ADHD, shedding light on both the struggle of negative self-talk and the strength in persistence. I share my personal experiences, offering actionable tips like replacing toxic habits with stimulating activities and the importance of self-compassion. So if you're battling your inner critic, remember, change is a journey, not an overnight trip. Join us weekly for real talk and real strategies to turn imperfection into your superpower. Stay tuned and stay imperfect!

00:00 Avoid illegal activities, focus on healthy coping.

05:08 Struggling with negative self-talk, finding solace in puzzles.

07:38 Embrace change, connect, and be compassionate.

10:02 Connect, share, follow on Instagram for more

Resources:
Landing Imperfect Website
https://landingimperfect.godaddysites.com/

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.lander/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.butram/

Transcript

0:00

You guys, I have to take a minute to share with you an amazing store that just opened up a few weeks ago in Geneva, Ohio. Ben bargains aims to make your shopping experience affordable while providing quality products at unbeatable prices. And when I say on beautiful prices, that is exactly what I mean. They offer the most incredible highlight items in their bins. Insane deals, a few things that they've thrown in there.$7 bins are a PlayStation five AirPods iPads. Amazing toys for over a hundred dollars home decor. I mean, you never know what high quality highlight items they're going to add to their bins. Lots of wonderful retail that can fill your house at prices. You won't believe. New inventory every Friday and restock for more goods on Saturdays for their$7 Ben days. I know he keeps saying$7 Ben days. I don't think I've mentioned this, but the most you will pay for their bin items is$7. My mind is blown. They have Sam's club and target clothing brands high seriously could go on and on about how amazing the store is. And the owners, Jeff and Heather bedroom. They bust their butts to provide you guys with the best deals and experience in their store. Their staff is so welcoming and friendly. I'm telling you, you make your way over to Ben bargains located at seven 11 east main street, Geneva, Ohio. And you will know exactly what I'm talking about. Stay up to date with them on Facebook at Ben bargains, where they often share their deals and you can find their hours and Ben prices there as well. So happy shopping Having ADHD can feel like a curse. And if you have ADHD, Or you suspect that you do have ADHD. You know exactly what I'm talking about. There are many. Positive attributes to having ADHD, but then that also comes along with some negative one. So we really need to figure out the balance between the two, because they both exist. We can't ignore that and we can't deny it. They're very much there. So this is a little bit of a heavy subject. Um, but I do want to leave you with some good insight here and some, techniques that you can use that could be helpful if you're struggling with something like this. So not everyone who has ADHD has. That toxic negative self-talk but many of us do. I am someone who has struggled with that myself and I could be very, very hard on myself. So people who have ADHD. Are really driven towards high stimulation. So that's why people can get themselves into trouble with gambling, spending money, being impulsive, drinking drugs, you know, all of those things. So we really want to try to steer clear of all the illegal things and really lean into coping skills that can help stimulate us. And a lot of people who have ADHD struggle with enduring boredom because there's no stimulation there. So if you're someone who is struggling with negative, self-talk. Even if it's painful, your brain is finding stimulation there. cause you're at war. You're like beating yourself up. You're going back and forth and you're really letting yourself have it. That's very stimulating for a lot of people. So your body is craving that your mind is craving that. So what you want to do is you want to try to replace that with something that is healthy and positive, that can be stimulating. Um, I personally had a pretty tough week. I have the school where I put out an episode on this podcast once a week, every Wednesday. I started this podcast in November and I have done so except for this week. And I was in a place at the beginning of the week where I was dealing with a lot of negative self-talk. Now I know what triggered that. And sometimes we don't know what's triggering sometimes it's unpredictable. It can kind of come out of nowhere. There's no triggers. For me, I know exactly what it was. So there's things that I have to work on that can help me. Not put myself in a place where I'm more vulnerable to that negative. Self-talk anyhow. Here it is Saturday night and I'm working on this podcast. If this was me years ago, I would have given up on this because I miss that day. It's that all or nothing, thinking that perfectionism. And I have done a lot of work on myself over the last two years. And I'm like, absolutely not like we are going to make this happen. Like I am not giving up on something. That's very important to me. So, like I said, here it is Saturday night and I'm trying to get this out there because I refuse to give up. That's another thing about people who have ADHD, they are very persistent. And if you're looking at that in a negative way, some people might say they're very stubborn, but for me, I'm going to say very, very persistent and persistence has gotten me to where I am today. It took me 10 years to earn this degree. Andy. Find this job that I very much. Love and I love helping people. So, I mean, I just didn't give up on myself and that persistence as a part of my ADHD. And that's a very beautiful thing and I'm very grateful for that. So back to negative self-talk. Here. I am kind of beat myself up early in the week and some things that I was doing years ago that I didn't realize that I was doing were trying to find stimulation in place of the negative. Self-talk like I would do puzzles and puzzles are a great thing. To do if you're, you know, if you find interest in that me personally, I do. And it has to be a challenging puzzle. So that's something I would do, but I would spend days and days working on this puzzle and I would continue to beat myself up over doing that because I wasn't recognizing it as taking a break and using something. That is considered a skill. Like I wasn't looking at it. Like it was a skill. I was looking at it like, oh my God, here I am wasting time. You're being a loser. Like you are not getting the things done that you have to, instead of being compassionate and knowing I'm in a vulnerable place. And I need that time to kind of reset. And I'm making that transition, trying to refocus that stimulation where there's no set negative self-talk or very little. And I'm trying to replace it with doing something else. Well, I was doing both. I was getting stimulation from doing the puzzle and I was beating myself up. So. I had to realize that, no, this is actually a skill that you're using. So doing a puzzles good. This week, what I did was I would take walks, which is very helpful. So if you're someone who is able to exercise and if you're in a place where you can get movement in. Exercise is very healthy to do, to find that stimulation. Um, and what I also was doing was doing a paint by numbers. So my mom is such a great painter. She's very artistic. That gene skipped me. I'm not good. So I will stick to my paint by numbers. Which I spent probably an hour or two doing this, and it really helped me refocus and just took my mind off of something that was challenging to me because I had to mix some colors up. Okay. Like I was really putting some thought into it. So I found that to be really helpful for me. But just, like I said, if you're still. Recognizing some of those things as this is a wasting my time. No, it's not. It absolutely is not. You're doing something that you're finding stimulation in. That's a positive thing. It's not a negative thing and just be kind to yourself. If this was me a couple of years ago, I would have just given up on. On all of this, like, I would have stuck in my misery, but it's Saturday night and I'm here doing this podcast because it is important to me. If you are practicing some of these things, what you're doing is you're shortening the time that you're spending and that negative self-talk, which can be incredibly powerful. So other things that you could do to are calling a friend that you haven't talked to in a while, and just reconnecting with them. That's switching things up in your life where you're getting that stimulation, that emotional stimulation of having a conversation with someone that you haven't talked to in awhile. And listening to loud music really, really loud music can really shift the energy inside of you. Andy. I put things in perspective and really help. And if you have to do this over and over and over and over again, that is okay. Be kind and be compassionate to yourself. Because you're really working on changing and change is painful. And sometimes that shows up as irritability and agitation, so just give yourself grace. Time. And patients because you really deserve that. What can also be helpful is to prepare, like, to prepare ahead of time. And that means write down some of the things that you'd like to try to help when you're in that moment of negative self-talk because you really don't want to feed. This negative self-talk that you're experiencing. You don't want to just keep giving to it because you're helping it grow into something more, something more like monstrous. So you want to not feed it. So just writing those things down that you're going to try. Maybe it's three things like, okay, I'm going to listen to loud music. I'm going to take a walk. And I'm going to call a friend. You know, like I said, negative. Self-talk like it's unpredictable for a lot of people. Sometimes there is no trigger at all and it just comes out of nowhere. So you want to make sure that you have this on your list because once it starts. If you don't have that, sometimes it's hard to think of the things in the moment. So just make sure that you have those on. On year two. Um, so I want you to try some of those things and please connect with me you can connect with me on Instagram or through my website. I'll link both of those in my show notes, but I would honestly love to hear that you've tried some of these things and to let me know how it is. And like I said, it's time and repetition, like repeat, repeat, repeat. And give yourself time to change because change does take time and I will see you next week. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of landing imperfect. I truly appreciate you being a part of this community and sharing this journey with me. If you do want to connect further, then don't hesitate to follow me on Instagram at Jen dot Lander. I would love to hear your thoughts, any questions or any stories that you want to share. So, DME there, I also have a website. It's a landing and perfect website where I share a blog post about my podcast, and then you can join my email list. I have a PDF that provides anxiety and stress management tools that you can. And use as well when you join my email list. So check it out. My website will be linked in my show notes. So don't hesitate to reach