Let's shed some light on the fear of judgment and mean comments online. We'll talk about why we fear judgment and how to overcome it. I share some of my personal experiences and practical tips to help empower you to reframe rejection, focus on your purpose, and celebrate your journey to being your authentic self. Join the community and get inspired to conquer your fears and embrace your imperfections. Keep shining and keep landing imperfect!
Let's shed some light on the fear of judgment and mean comments online. We'll talk about why we fear judgment and how to overcome it. I share some of my personal experiences and practical tips to help empower you to reframe rejection, focus on your purpose, and celebrate your journey to being your authentic self. Join the community and get inspired to conquer your fears and embrace your imperfections. Keep shining and keep landing imperfect!
Rejection can feel amplified like a spotlight on our every move. Which brings me into wanting to talk about mean comments online. So why in the world do people transform into these negativity, ninjas online? There. R there's so many reasons Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode. I'm your host, Jen Lander. And I've been a psychiatric nurse practitioner for six years now. And five of those years I've been working to help people recover from eating disorders. I've only done one episode so far about eating disorders. And when I started this podcast, I initially wasn't planning to discuss this topic, but I've been thinking about sprinkling in some episodes here and there. So if this is a topic that you'd like to hear about, then don't hesitate to reach out to me on Instagram or just shoot me a message on my website to let me know what you'd like to hear more of. So today we're tackling a fear that holds so many of us back that fear of being judged. We all know that voice in our heads, the one that goes into overdrive when we're considering to put ourselves out there to try something new or really just to be ourselves. It screams. What if they don't like me? What if they're going to judge me? So the question is why are we so terrified of judgment, especially from strangers. We don't even know online. Here's the thing. It is rooted in our evolutionary past. I mean, this is deep in our DNA. We are by nature, social creatures. So back in the day, fitting into your tribe was a matter of survival, but in today's world with social media is our main stage. Rejection can feel amplified like a spotlight on our every move. Which brings me into wanting to talk about mean comments online. So why in the world do people transform into these negativity, ninjas online? There. R there's so many reasons, but here's a couple that I think. So the screen creates this barrier. It's like this veil that lets people show up and feel anonymous and an empower some people to say things that they wouldn't dare say to anyone, if they were face-to-face in person. It's like having the super power to be rude without any real consequences for them. And then we have that same, you know, that one misery loves company. So people who are struggling themselves might lash out at other people and then they're projecting their unhappiness and their negativity into the world. They might feel better by tearing other people down. I'm all for wanting her people to feel better, but not when it's sacrificing someone else's feelings to do so. This can't go without saying, because it's so damn important. Not everyone is going to judge you. And I hope you know that. So the majority of people are just scrolling by your post. And they're more caught up in their own social media world. And those who do take the time to be mean. Their words are a reflection of them. Not you. I do have some experience with putting myself out there and people just being downright mean for no reason. And I'll give you some examples of this in a second, but. I wanted to mention that I've scrolled through some people's comments on social media. And saw some really rude comments on their content. It isn't the person's post that I'm looking at feeling bad for. It's the person who's commenting those hurtful responses. It's like what is going on in your life that you are feeling so bitter and judgemental for someone you don't even know a complete stranger. It's this curiosity that I feel for the person who's being mean. So this past week, I had two guys comment on a reel that I posted about not caring. What other people think about you? Which is kind of ironic, or maybe they were just testing me out here to see how I would respond or react to their judgmental comments. Well, I chose to respond instead of react for one, their words held no weight because the things that they were calling me were poor. Pathetic. Uh, narcissistic and attention seeking. So I don't identify with any of those things, and I know I'm not any of those things, so I could brush it off a lot easier than I could, if they would have said something that I was struggling to overcome. So. We all have experience with limiting beliefs. So if they would have said something that touched on mine that I'm working overcome, then that might've stung a little bit differently. Uh, but certainly not enough to knock me off course because I know in my heart that what I'm creating and putting out into the world is meant to help people. It's not meant to provoke or to offend or to hurt anyone else. And if I do so then I'll always try to apologize for something like that, because it certainly isn't the intention. So I'm secure and knowing who I am in that way. So people being rude. Happens more often on social media, but I'll share something that happened to me a long time ago, taking it back to high school. So I had just moved to this new school when I was in ninth grade and I went school shopping with my mom and I was so excited to wear one of my new outfits and. I really hadn't made any friends at this point and I was shy and I'm an introvert. So I don't know why I chose to wear something so bold. But it didn't really go over very well. So I wore the cutest Cal print bands and I got mood app, but two girls in the hallway, I felt so embarrassed and literally wanted to fall through the floor. Because I was a young teenage girl at a new school and I wanted to fit in with my peers. So that might not sound weird to someone who probably lives in LA, but this is a small town. All right. So it was a pretty bold move for me. And at that age, I really did internalize that as if something were wrong with me, instead of having an understanding that it wasn't about me at all, it was about these girls' ability at that age to treat people kindly. So if you're experiencing this, please know that you are amazing just how you are Cal pants and all. And it's not your responsibility for. Others being mean to you? That is on them. It's not on you. So how do we silence? The fear and embrace are in perfectly awesome selves. I want to give you guys three tips that can help you conquer your fear of being judged by the meanies on the internet. Number one. Reframe rejection. So instead of seeing judgment as a personal attack, view it as a natural part of putting yourself out there. Not everyone's going to dig your vibe and that's perfectly okay. It's about finding your people, the ones who appreciate you for all your imperfections. They love you for all of it. You can think of this as trying to find your favorite flavor of ice cream. So not everyone loves mint chocolate chip, but those who do really love it now. I don't love mint chocolate chip. I love chocolate cookies and cream Rocky road, and I'm certainly not going to treat mint chocolate chip. Like there's something wrong with it just because it's not my preference. I'm going to step back and let the people who love mint chocolate chip. Enjoy it and find their way to it. I'm a mind my business and I'm going to look for some cookies and cream. That's what I'm going to do. So number two, I want you to focus on your why. Remind yourself why you're doing this in the first place. Is it to share your passion for cooking? Is it to connect with other people who love fashion and sports? Let your purpose be your guiding light. So when that fear starts creeping in all that doubt. I want you to drown it out with your, why? And number three. Celebrate the small wins really, really celebrate the small wins. Did you post that silly Tik TOK dance video, even though you were worried about looking goofy? Cause I know I have done that quite a few times. Or did you wear that outfit that made you feel like a million bucks despite that risk that someone. Might say something snarky acknowledge your courage because you're freaking amazing. So celebrate every step towards being the real you, no matter how small. And remember guys being judged is a risk that we all take when we choose to shine. So it's a part of being human, but the rewards that connection, the purpose, the satisfaction of being your true self are more than worth it. It's so worth it. So keep landing him perfectly. And know that this community is your cheerleading section. It's your hype squad where this judge-free zone and we've got your back every step of the way. And if you're really struggling with negativity online, I got some bonus tips for you. So make sure you're taking breaks from social media and try to curate your feeds to be filled with positivity. And definitely make sure that you're surrounding yourself with supportive people in the real world. And always, always remember that you are worthy, you are loved and you are absolutely incredible. Just the way that you are. Now, before we head out, I want to give two big shout outs. The first is to my son, it's his birthday today. And I'm so excited. Now he has an, a listener to this podcast, but I'm just putting it out into the universe that. I love, love. Love him so much into you guys. I just, as a mama, I'm using any excuse to talk about my boys. So wish my baby a happy birthday today, please. He's so incredible. And then I also want to give a big shout out to Jake from Tennessee who messaged me about the ADHD episode. So he felt like it was relatable and would love to hear a follow-up episode. getting deeper into the topic. Stay tuned for that, Jake. And if you have a story that you want to share, or a question about conquering, your fear of being judged, don't hesitate to reach out because I love hearing from you and I'll see you guys next week. You guys, I have to take a minute to share with you an amazing store that just opened up a few weeks ago in Geneva, Ohio. Ben bargains aims to make your shopping experience affordable while providing quality products at unbeatable prices. And when I say on beautiful prices, that is exactly what I mean. They offer the most incredible highlight items in their bins. Insane deals, a few things that they've thrown in there.$7 bins are a PlayStation five AirPods iPads. Amazing toys for over a hundred dollars home decor. I mean, you never know what high quality highlight items they're going to add to their bins. Lots of wonderful retail that can fill your house at prices. You won't believe. New inventory every Friday and restock for more goods on Saturdays for their$7 Ben days. I know he keeps saying$7 Ben days. I don't think I've mentioned this, but the most you will pay for their bin items is$7. My mind is blown. They have Sam's club and target clothing brands high seriously could go on and on about how amazing the store is. And the owners, Jeff and Heather bedroom. They bust their butts to provide you guys with the best deals and experience in their store. Their staff is so welcoming and friendly. I'm telling you, you make your way over to Ben bargains located at seven 11 east main street, Geneva, Ohio. And you will know exactly what I'm talking about. Stay up to date with them on Facebook at Ben bargains, where they often share their deals and you can find their hours and Ben prices there as well. So happy shopping Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of landing imperfect. I truly appreciate you being a part of this community and sharing this journey with me. If you do want to connect further, then don't hesitate to follow me on Instagram at Jen dot Lander. I would love to hear your thoughts, any questions or any stories that you want to share. So, DME there, I also have a website. It's a landing and perfect website where I share a blog post about my podcast, and then you can join my email list. I have a PDF that provides anxiety and stress management tools that you can. And use as well when you join my email list. So check it out. My website will be linked in my show notes. So don't hesitate to reach