Welcome to "Landing Imperfect." In today's episode we explore the intricate relationship between confidence and self-worth. I share my personal experiences, from struggling with low confidence in school to finding my confidence in sports, and delves into the impact of negative core beliefs on our self-worth. Throughout the episode, I offer practical tips for enhancing confidence and self-worth, emphasizing the importance of celebrating small wins and being forgiving of oneself. Join us as we learn how to nurture our self-worth and walk through life with the knowledge that we are enough, just as we are.
00:00 Overcoming belief of not being smart enough.
Welcome to "Landing Imperfect." In today's episode we explore the intricate relationship between confidence and self-worth. I share my personal experiences, from struggling with low confidence in school to finding my confidence in sports, and delves into the impact of negative core beliefs on our self-worth. Throughout the episode, I offer practical tips for enhancing confidence and self-worth, emphasizing the importance of celebrating small wins and being forgiving of oneself. Join us as we learn how to nurture our self-worth and walk through life with the knowledge that we are enough, just as we are.
00:00 Overcoming belief of not being smart enough.
This differs from self-worth. Our self-worth is about how much we value ourselves internally. It isn't about what we can do, but who we are at our core, regardless of our achievements or our failures Welcome guys. So today we're going to jump into exploring confidence and self-worth, I've had moments in my life. Like many of us I'm sure where my confidence was either fairly high or it was taken a big hit kind of low. And maybe it was somewhere in the middle. I've mentioned this in previous episodes, but I think it's worth mentioning again, since we're on this specific topic. I typically had pretty low confidence when it came to shiny and in school, unless I worked ridiculously hard to keep up with average work. Now I moved around a lot. I think I went to six different schools until I graduated high school. I always seem to achieve the most in my classes when I was new to a school, since I didn't have much of a social life, I spent all my time studying. But once you girl got some friends, it was all the distraction that I needed to start to let my grades slip. So I often would shy away when I was in class from being called on to answer questions or to read aloud. So needless to say that felt like crap. It did not feel good. But when it came to sports, my confidence was much higher. Competitive sports just came a little bit more natural to me. So that definitely increased my confidence during that time. When we think about confidence, it's often seen as our belief in our abilities to perform tasks, to make decisions and to face tough challenges. It's how competent we feel in the external world. This differs from self-worth. Our self-worth is about how much we value ourselves internally. It isn't about what we can do, but who we are at our core, regardless of our achievements or our failures, our confidence can ebb and flow and become very shaky without a solid foundation of self-worth. This unfortunately can stand in our way from taking chances and from standing out and being seen. And negative core belief that I worked very hard to overcome was I'm not smart enough. Hence why my confidence was so shaky in school. I didn't feel worthy of the recognition. Which this is a little bit wild because I did earn a master's degree and I am a competent psychiatric nurse practitioner. Through this journey. I have had many proven moments of success and evidence that I am actually smart enough. However, our minds can play tricks on us. And because this was such a deeply ingrained belief of mine. And started when I was very young, I carried that with me. So anytime anything in school happened that was challenging or it took me awhile to understand the material that I was learning. I often would ask myself, like, why can I just not get this? Why am I not smart enough? I mean, I was pretty hard on myself. This was not nice, Jen. I was very mean, Jen. So I knew that I needed to make a change so that I would stop being so hard on myself and giving myself the recognition that you've had lots of achievements in your life and you absolutely are smart enough. So I did the work I put in the work, And I just wanted to offer you support and to let you know what I did to help me kind of overcome some of those negative core beliefs, especially the one where I'm not smart enough or I'm not enough. If you find yourself talking to yourself in this way, then I am so glad that you are here because I'm here to tell you, you are so freaking smart and you have the capacity to reach any goal that you set for yourself. Improving our self-worth is so vital because it, it just shows up in, it affects every aspect of our lives from the way that we make decisions to how we interact with each other. And even to our mental health. A strong sense of worth helps us navigate the ups and downs of life with resilience and knowing that our value is not tied to external circumstances. We can accomplish some pretty amazing things in our lives. Even with low self-worth. But it's incredibly hard to maintain it. We can start to self-sabotage those incredible achievements. Let's say maybe it's a promotion at work and you start to feel the pressure of the new role. If you don't feel good enough, then maybe you start showing up to work late, or you start experiencing some migraines that are interfering with the job that you're doing. You're procrastinating on important tasks, and you're just not putting your best work out there. Or you could be someone who doesn't feel deserving of a good relationship or a good partner. People can then once they're in a loving, caring relationship, they can start to pick fights or maybe they start engaging in unhealthy behaviors, stepping outside of the relationship for affection or just ignoring their partner altogether. You could also, let's say you are a nine to five kind of person. You're an employee and you're venturing into becoming an entrepreneur. Things in business are starting to look pretty good, but some important decisions need to be made. And then you start doubting your abilities and your potential. Then you start feeling very indecisive and maybe you freeze under the pressure. Or a great opportunity comes your way in business, but you don't take it because the risk seems too high or it seems too good to be true. When the truth may be that you're lacking confidence, the courage to take the next step or the self-worth to take that leap. If you are capable, and this is truly what I believe. If you are capable of creating ideas that can improve your life, then you are capable of finding the resources and the skills. To make it happen. You are enough, you are worthy and you can have all that as good in this life. With that said let's get a little practical. So how can we enhance our confidence? And self-worth, that's the question. I want you to start by being kind to yourself. That is where it starts. So recognizing your humanity and understand that mistakes are a part of growth it's okay. That you make and have made mistakes. Now I know what you're probably thinking, or some of you, some of your mistakes may be big, huge mistakes. I am still talking to you. I'm also talking to you. This is a part of life. There's a reason the mistake happened. No judge zone. This is a safe place to be forgiving of yourself. And accepting that mistakes will happen. This practice really lays the groundwork for both confidence and a deep seated sense of self-worth. Next, I want you to think about your big picture goals and make sure that you're setting small goals along the way because confidence blooms from accomplishments. So set the small achievable goals for yourself and celebrate the heck out of them. It's one step closer to reaching your big goal. If you have a big goal and maybe you don't have one and that's okay too, but maybe you just have a few small goals. That's also incredible. So once you achieve them, acknowledge these wins. And celebrate them as well. Each success just builds your confidence and the act of setting and working towards these goals. Reinforces your belief in your value and capabilities. This was something that I had started to be more intentional about over the last couple of years. But back in October, I actually started making this a weekly practice. I write down, wins for the week and then I speak them out loud every week. Now. I am not in a place where I'm like, heck yeah, I freaking rock. I'm a, bad-ass like throwing myself these big parties. But what I will say is it does make me feel proud and I still. Make this intentional to celebrate these wins, even if it's in a small way. And I like that, I'm not letting the small winds go to the side. I'm paying attention and being more present in my life when I do this. And it's a powerful tool. And it's. A habit that I'm developing that I know you can too, if you haven't already. And finally improving self-worth is a journey. It's not a destination. It's about constantly reminding ourselves of our value. Especially in a world that often measures worth by external achievements. Being in a digital world, we can get sucked into measuring our worth this way before we even realize that we're doing it. And I know all of this personal development stuff is so amazing. I love it, but we can personal develop ourselves to the max. So it's not about being perfect. And when you catch yourself, judging yourself or being hard on yourself or measuring your worth based off of achievements, Then just acknowledge that it's happening. Be kind to yourself and switch gears. You honestly, do not have to beat yourself up over failures, over mistakes or over being imperfect because we're all imperfect. And remember that your worth does not diminish with life's ups and downs. Now as we wrap up today, I want to encourage you to embrace the beauty of your journey. Life is a wild ride, confidence and self-worth are companion. So they each play a role in helping you become the fullest expression of yourself. Cherish your worth. Nourish or confidence and walk through life with the knowledge that you are enough just as you are. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, you are capable. You are valuable and you are loved. I hope that you have a beautiful day and I'll see you next week. You guys, I have to take a minute to share with you an amazing store that just opened up a few weeks ago in Geneva, Ohio. Ben bargains aims to make your shopping experience affordable while providing quality products at unbeatable prices. And when I say on beautiful prices, that is exactly what I mean. They offer the most incredible highlight items in their bins. Insane deals, a few things that they've thrown in there.$7 bins are a PlayStation five AirPods iPads. Amazing toys for over a hundred dollars home decor. I mean, you never know what high quality highlight items they're going to add to their bins. Lots of wonderful retail that can fill your house at prices. You won't believe. New inventory every Friday and restock for more goods on Saturdays for their$7 Ben days. I know he keeps saying$7 Ben days. I don't think I've mentioned this, but the most you will pay for their bin items is$7. My mind is blown. They have Sam's club and target clothing brands high seriously could go on and on about how amazing the store is. And the owners, Jeff and Heather bedroom. They bust their butts to provide you guys with the best deals and experience in their store. Their staff is so welcoming and friendly. I'm telling you, you make your way over to Ben bargains located at seven 11 east main street, Geneva, Ohio. And you will know exactly what I'm talking about. Stay up to date with them on Facebook at Ben bargains, where they often share their deals and you can find their hours and Ben prices there as well. So happy shopping Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of landing imperfect. I truly appreciate you being a part of this community and sharing this journey with me. If you do want to connect further, then don't hesitate to follow me on Instagram at Jen dot Lander. I would love to hear your thoughts, any questions or any stories that you want to share. So, DME there, I also have a website. It's a landing and perfect website where I share a blog post about my podcast, and then you can join my email list. I have a PDF that provides anxiety and stress management tools that you can. And use as well when you join my email list. So check it out. My website will be linked in my show notes. So don't hesitate to reach