Confronting Limiting Beliefs: Identifying, Replacing, and Letting Go of Negative Core Beliefs
Feb 21, 2024
Jennifer Lander
In this episode of "Landing Imperfect," your host Jen opens up about her journey in recognizing and overcoming negative core beliefs. Jen shares candidly about her childhood experiences and the impact they had on her self-worth, particularly highlighting the beliefs "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not smart enough." She delves into how these beliefs manifested and the steps she took to challenge and rewire them, emphasizing the importance of awareness, compassion, and repetition in this process. Join us as we start a crucial discussion on negative and limiting core beliefs, and learn how to cultivate a more empowering mindset.
00:00 Addressing and overcoming negative core beliefs journey.
04:34 Overcoming self-doubt, recognizing distorted thinking, building confidence.
06:47 Repetition crucial for changing thoughts and behaviors.
In this episode of "Landing Imperfect," your host Jen opens up about her journey in recognizing and overcoming negative core beliefs. Jen shares candidly about her childhood experiences and the impact they had on her self-worth, particularly highlighting the beliefs "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not smart enough." She delves into how these beliefs manifested and the steps she took to challenge and rewire them, emphasizing the importance of awareness, compassion, and repetition in this process. Join us as we start a crucial discussion on negative and limiting core beliefs, and learn how to cultivate a more empowering mindset.
00:00 Addressing and overcoming negative core beliefs journey.
04:34 Overcoming self-doubt, recognizing distorted thinking, building confidence.
06:47 Repetition crucial for changing thoughts and behaviors.
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They have Sam's club and target clothing brands high seriously could go on and on about how amazing the store is. And the owners, Jeff and Heather bedroom. They bust their butts to provide you guys with the best deals and experience in their store. Their staff is so welcoming and friendly. I'm telling you, you make your way over to Ben bargains located at seven 11 east main street, Geneva, Ohio. And you will know exactly what I'm talking about. Stay up to date with them on Facebook at Ben bargains, where they often share their deals and you can find their hours and Ben prices there as well. So happy shopping. Hey guys. So today I wanted to talk to you a little bit about negative core beliefs or limiting beliefs, whatever you'd like to call it. So about a year ago, I started working with a therapist about some of my negative core beliefs that were stemming from my childhood. And I carried them all the way into my adulthood. I mean, my gosh, I'm 38 years old and I started really digging into this and working through it very intentionally a year ago. So I was dragging this out for a very long time. But the two that really stick out for me are I'm not good enough and I'm not smart enough. So I'll say as far as the, I'm not smart enough, I brought it all the way back to fourth grade. When I had this teacher who I felt like she did not like me. That's exactly how I perceived it. I mean, you can pretty much tell when someone doesn't like you it's this energy shift or there's this tension when you're around. Someone. So that's exactly how I felt when I was around this teacher. This memory always sticks out in my head. So it must've been very important to me. Because we were outside taking a break in the middle of the day. When she asked us to run a lap around the track and I'm going to brag about myself also for a minute. I was pretty fast. Okay. So I was actually. One of the fastest, if not the fastest in the class and that day I was the fastest because I did finish my lap first out of all the boys and girls. So I ended up finishing my lap, running to my teacher, and then very shortly after other people were coming in behind. And my teacher, once everyone started to gathering around, she. Pointed at me. And she's like, you need to run a lap because I saw you over there talking to the fifth graders. So she's accusing me of not running this lap. Which I don't know how she would accuse me of this because I'm clearly sweating. I'm out of breath and I'm tired, but anyway, she's calling me out. In front of everyone, I felt so embarrassed. And I was just like, I did run, you know, I'm stuttering, all this stuff. It was so uncomfortable. And then I had my classmates. They're so sweet and they're like, no, she's so fast. She did run. So she ends up dropping it. But that moment for me was so I, I didn't really have an experience where. A teacher was accusing me of something that I didn't do. So I guess very lucky for me that I made it to the fourth grade without a very defining moment like that. But at the same time, That was such an uncomfortable experience to have and adult pretty much call you a liar. And I will say English was English reading. Those were the most challenging subjects for me because having untreated dyslexia and ADHD, why would that be easy? Right. But of course it's not diagnosed. So you get this feeling where the teacher is responding to you, maybe in a way where they feel like you're dumb or. Like you're lazy. Or you're just a daydreamer, but that's, that's kind of what my experience was like Mo in almost all of my elementary, but she. Didn't have much of a tolerance for me. And children are very egocentric. So it's very hard for a child to see an adult treating them a certain way and not feel like it's their fault, or they did something wrong just because of how. How much they are driven by their egos. So that was me. I'm like, okay, well, I must be an idiot. I'm not good enough. She doesn't like me. There must be something that I'm doing wrong. And I'm a very much at that time, a people pleaser also where I don't want people to not like me. Most people don't, no one wants to not be liked, but. There's a different type of level when it's someone who's like a people pleaser. So. For me, that experience in the fourth grade kind of led to me shying away from. Raising my hand or participating in class as much as I would like to, because I just felt unsupported. And like I said, I just, I really had this feeling that I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. And when you attach an experience where there's a really strong, emotional reaction to what's going on around you, that really strengthens that neural connection in your brain. That says, okay. That's that's it. That's why I'm not smart enough. That's why I'm not good enough. And over time, you're just reinforcing it. You're looking for that proof on. Okay. I'm not good enough. Oh, see, I told you, like, I knew it. I'm not good enough. So obviously in school, we have lots of experiences where we can turn a situation into feeling like you're not smart enough. So. that was something that I had to work on because I did carry that through high school, through college. Through some of my jobs and I got to the point where enough is enough. I am so sick of feeling like this. I know enough to know I've had enough experiences to know that this is something that. It's a distorted way of thinking that I need to correct. And I need to change because it's not right. So I'm like, okay, we're done with this. Let's figure this out. So the key here is to have that awareness that there is this negative or limiting belief going on, and having compassion for yourself. That was huge for me is to be compassionate. And I did that by saying, okay, so you had all these experiences, you were a child, at the time that doesn't mean that you have to carry that on. To everything else in your life when there is so much proof that is saying there's evidence here that says otherwise, So it's me trying to attach a new, emotional reaction to how I'm feeling. About creating a new. Belief about myself and one that's not limiting. There is that sane. Neurons that fire together, wire together. And there are studies that show, it takes about 66 days to re-establish and strengthen a new neural pathway. So a new way of communicating. And you do that by obviously, like I said, having the awareness, having compassion and repetition it's. That repetition of a new thought process, replacing the old thought with a new thought. Anytime the old thought pops up. Okay. Well, let's not judge that thought and let's replace it with a more neutral thought or even a positive thought. And it's the repetition every time the thought pops up. Let's think about this instead. So it takes work and it takes a lot of effort, but over time that will be the new strengthened default neural connection that you're experiencing. So the repetition really, really is key. Repetition is so important, even when you don't feel like it, it's like, okay, Uh, this is really sexist. Isn't working this, isn't working stick with it. And it doesn't just go for thoughts. It goes for behaviors as well. So repetition on the new healthy behavior So. I think really? I know this is just scratching the surface here. But if there is a takeaway that I want you guys to come out of this with it, it's just having the awareness that there's some sort of limiting belief going on, or some sort of. Negative core belief that you're experiencing. Please have compassion for yourself. And really reinforce the new behavior and the new thought that you're trying to replace so it's repetition. Awareness compassion, repetition. All right. So I hope you guys have a beautiful day. I know this was short and sweet and we'll try to dig a little bit. Deeper into this in future episodes. But for now, I just wanted to kind of open this up in and start a discussion on some negative and limiting core beliefs. So I hope you guys have a beautiful day and I'll see you next week. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of landing imperfect. I truly appreciate you being a part of this community and sharing this journey with me. If you do want to connect further, then don't hesitate to follow me on Instagram at Jen dot Lander. I would love to hear your thoughts, any questions or any stories that you want to share. So, DME there, I also have a website. It's a landing and perfect website where I share a blog post about my podcast, and then you can join my email list. I have a PDF that provides anxiety and stress management tools that you can. And use as well when you join my email list. So check it out. My website will be linked in my show notes. So don't hesitate to reach